Falls to Pieces In My Arms
by KlausCarolineLover
Summary: Sam/Buffy, Spoilers Season Seven Finale - Request


"You can't just walk away, Sammy, not after everything that you've been through."

Seeing him at the door with his bags already packed (those puppy dog eyes seemed so hollow), ready to leave me without a second thought, pretty much broke my heart.

(and I already knew that it would hurt even more than the _many_ times before him)

When the day before I nearly brought back his smile and he helped me find my own as well, the one that has been broken these grim years, (as I saw my home fall away) the one he lost when big brother was stripped away from him.

"I can and I will, Buff. I know you can't join me with this, you're the slayer, it's your job, but you could at least support me."

It's hard to see him like this, crumbling right before my eyes (slipping further down until he's barely there anymore) but I'm not about to look the other way when he's suffering.

(I'm ready to do it all to pull back from the edge and pay him back for all the good he's brought me)

"Support you in changing your life totally just because Dean isn't here to keep you going? Hunting is your life, like it's mine, you can't just quit, Sam."

I'm ready to stop him from walking out that door, knowing that if he walks out I might lose him (and that is not something I'm prepared for), but I hope my words and my hands in his will be enough.

(and my lips that have comforted him for months now keeping him from falling away)

"I'm quitting before it claims me as well, Buffy, and I don't want to sit back and watch as it takes you as well."

His hand is on the door knob, while the urge to slap it away washes over me (trying to think of ways to make him stay), and I can already feel yet another crack in my heart start to form.

(wondering if I will survive it this time)

"Are you leaving me, Sam Winchester?"

It's hard to let those words out that taste bitter on my tongue, wishing that they never existed in the first place (because I've said them way too many times before), and I nearly choke on them.

(knowing that it's tears that I am really choking on but will never admit to)

"I have to, Buffy, for your own safety. I don't know any other way this can go, babe."

He speaks about doing this all for me when I know that the only reason he going out that door is because he's afraid of losing me.

(doesn't want to feel that pain all over again)

"Don't you babe me, Samuel. You're not leaving me after I just found you, not in this life time or the next."

I grab his bag and throw it across the room, hoping that he'll finally see that I'm not about to let him leave me because I might die.

(trying to get him to feel something, anything)

"Buffy-"

When he tries to get that damn bag, the one he'll use to take my heart with him (what's left of it that belongs to him), I push him down. Praying that he will finally trust me enough to see him at his weakest, see those tears that he thinks I can't hear.

(crying for big brother and worrying that I might be stripped away next)

"Sit down and think about everything you're giving up, Sammy, is this little self-pity thing really worth it?"

I regret my harsh words, wondering if they will drive him out that damn door (and leave me picking up the pieces) but instead I see him crumbling before me.

(finally ready to let everything come rushing out)

"Oh god, Buff, I just miss him so _goddamn_ much."

I catch him before he falls to the ground, something I've been waiting for him to do since that first miserable day ('he's never coming home again, Buff'), and cradle his head in my arms.

(playing the strong one like I've done since the beginning)

"Shh, I know, and we will find a way to bring him back to you. I promise."

He buried his head in my chest, grabbing me like I might disappear if he doesn't hold on tight; finally letting everything hit him at once.

(and it's me who he chooses to fall apart with)

"I don't know what I would do without you, Buffy."

I will wait here with him locked in my arms until every part of me fails, never leaving him alone (knowing that is what will push him over the edge), and the only part that's left is my heart.

(the one that is happy to be in his arms as well)

"Neither do I, Sammy."


End file.
